My Partner Betrayed Me With My Best Friend
No one enjoys being deceived, that’s for sure. However, there are some relationships that hurt more than others. This is especially true when we know that third party.
Believe it or not, there are many people who have suffered from a deceptive partner who approached loved ones close to them.
Is it a more painful and terrible situation than to have to say that “my partner betrayed me with my best friend”?
Probably not.
In this article, we will tell you how you can react to such a situation.
My partner betrayed me with my best friend: what do I do?
Maybe you caught him in the act itself. Maybe you’ve suspected it and found messages or evidence… Or maybe your partner (possibly now an ex-partner) confessed because of a heavy conscience.
You’ve found out about the most horrible situation: he betrayed you with your best friend. You may feel betrayed because of both, because your friend also acted in disbelief, not just your partner.
Your first reaction, of course, is that you lose your mind, so to speak, get angry, or feel hopeless. After that, you may experience a feeling of suffering and anxiety. At some point, however, you need to decide what you want to do or what you think is best for you.
There are different ways to deal with the situation and each one requires a certain kind of calm and time.
The most common options are:
Option 1: You leave your partner and are in an argument with your friend
If you are unable to accept the betrayal or may not be the first time your partner has betrayed, the best option is to break the gap. Both have behaved in a terrible way and stabbed you in the back.
However, this is a painful decision because you will not only lose your partner, but also the person you had offered your friendship to.
You need to know that it is going to be extremely painful and that you feel hard to trust people again and that you should look for someone with whom you can talk about what happened. Applying for professional help can be a good option.
Option 2: Talk to your partner and make a settlement
Some choose to stay with their partner even after they find out that this has betrayed them with their best friend. There may be many reasons for this: maybe they are able to forgive, maybe they have children in common and therefore want to try to continue… Among other reasons.
To reach this decision, it is important for you to reassure yourself and let your partner tell their own perspective on the story. Maybe it was a mistake, confusion, a weak moment, or drunkenness… Of course, these can also be excuses, and believing (or not believing) in them depends on you.
However, you should always listen to what your partner wants to say, even if you do not forgive him. However, if you decide to agree with your partner and continue as a couple, something needs to change: maybe you should go for couple therapy, spend more time alone, or something else, but the problem needs to be faced.
Option 3: Listening to the perspective of your (former?) Best friend
This is one option. You will definitely feel anger or aggression towards your friend as well. However, you should always give him a chance to tell you what happened to your partner.
Just like with the previous option, it’s up to you to accept his story and forgive him or end the friendship. It depends on how credible his story is and whether you are willing to still be his friend.
Patience and calmness are important, no matter what decision you make. First, you need to calm down to think about the future. Outbursts of grief, increasing jealousy, and paranoia are normal.
There is, of course, nothing good about betrayal, and it can be two more disgusting when a third party is your friend… But it can also be an opportunity to open your eyes and think about what has happened in the relationship and what you want in your future life.
